This week has SUCKED, and I am happy to see it gone!
First, Michael left for Los Angeles, again. This means, I had to take care of Beth all by myself (I don't do the single mom gig well) AND I've had to drive her to school in the mornings AND take care of the animals (2 cats, 2 dogs - one inside, one outside). This just adds to my exhaustion....
Second, Monday. I came home to find that my dog had tried to rip up the carpet next to my closed bathroom door. I guess she really wanted to get in there. Why? Well, she's decided after 7 years of not fearing thunderstorms that she's now afraid of them. I suppose there was some thunder and she wanted to hide in my closet - which is in my bathroom. Ugh! On top of that, she pee peed on the carpet next to my husband's side of our bed. I discovered that after I stepped in it! ERRR
Third, Tuesday night. It was the awards banquet for my speech and debate team. Kinda formal, with lots of parents. I had to take Beth with me since hubby was out of town. :-( She is not a "sit nice and eat quietly" kinda girl - especially in a new and uncharted environment. Needless to say, I hardly got to eat all the good food and got bad heartburn from what I was able to down quickly. Thankfully, a daughter of the lady who hosted the event took Beth into another room to watch Tangled with her when we did the awards portion of the evening and I had to talk to the parents. ((cue relieved sigh)) However, I was exhausted after all that!
Fourth, Wednesday night. Tornado warnings. I don't do tornado warnings well. AT. ALL. I grew up in an area where the biggest weather concern was too much snow! So when I see pictures of devastation from tornadoes and hear of how many they've killed and, oh, by the way, those storms are headed our way... I FREAK! Three times the tornado sirens went off around my house!! And two of those times, the weather man swore they were headed straight for me! Even mentioned the highway my street is off of!!
And that's when I woke up Beth to take her downstairs and "camp" until the "nadoes" - how she says tornadoes - eventually passed by. Of course, I then later had to let her sleep in bed with me - something I've NEVER done, not even when she was an infant! She fell asleep almost on top of prego me, and the sirens went of again! This time, the "nadoe" was on the other side of the expressway (I had my laptop beside me to keep an eye on the weather), so I didn't wake her up. Anyway, I hardly got any sleep that night.
So, Fifth, Thursday. I felt like I was going to faint from complete physical and mental and emotional exhaustion all day. I seriously don't know how I made it through the day. A few times I just wanted to run, hide in a corner, and cry! However, I made it through the day, got my girl to her dance practice, and got in bed by 8:30pm. Had a good sleep that night, at least.
That leaves me with, sixth, today. Not such a bad day. Pretty productive at work. However, I think I've overdone it. When I got home, my messy house was too much for me to take any longer, and I've since vacuumed and picked up. Doesn't sound like a lot, but my house was bad off. Now, it feels like I'm having contractions. Ugh!
AND if my child comes out of her bedroom ONE. MORE. TIME!!! I've just warned her, she will receive the spanking of her LIFE!!!! I'm over the stalling techniques. She's usually not THIS bad. It's routine for her to come out once - saying she has to go potty - then I tuck her back in bed and she's never out again. However, tonight?! 5 times with various excuses!!! Just shoot me!
Go away week from hell! Never come back!!!!
I guess if there's one thing the Lord is teaching me through all this it might be...... appreciate your husband, Jamie! He does make life so much easier to handle when he's home. Shout out to all you single moms! YOU! ROCK!!!
Fortunately, my hubby is flying back to me as I type this. AMEN! Cause I don't do single mom well... along with a lot of other things, obviously ;-)
being caught up
I love Easter! The joy that fills my soul when I think of my savior, his sacrifice for me, and how he rose from the dead.... it.. leaves. me. speechless
We're watching The Ten Commandments right now on TV, and tomorrow - as is my Easter tradition - I'll be sure to watch King of Kings. I love both movies! Why? Simply because they so capture the holiness of my God.
My quite time during this pregnancy - as I think I've shared before - has been hit or miss... honestly, mostly miss. It's hard for me to focus on anything for a period of time these days, and with one annoying pregnancy symptom after another plaguing me (nausea now heartburn), I just can't make myself get up early enough to do it like I did before.
All that is just an excuse though. One I need to fight and conquer.
And it just occurred to me, I can't do it. Not alone. All I really need to do is call on Him, and I'll have all I need to overcome anything, even heartburn ;-)
Our God is a mighty God! Unlike any other!! He is risen!
Happy Easter!
We're watching The Ten Commandments right now on TV, and tomorrow - as is my Easter tradition - I'll be sure to watch King of Kings. I love both movies! Why? Simply because they so capture the holiness of my God.
My quite time during this pregnancy - as I think I've shared before - has been hit or miss... honestly, mostly miss. It's hard for me to focus on anything for a period of time these days, and with one annoying pregnancy symptom after another plaguing me (nausea now heartburn), I just can't make myself get up early enough to do it like I did before.
All that is just an excuse though. One I need to fight and conquer.
And it just occurred to me, I can't do it. Not alone. All I really need to do is call on Him, and I'll have all I need to overcome anything, even heartburn ;-)
Our God is a mighty God! Unlike any other!! He is risen!
Happy Easter!
A Pause
I found this quote on BLM Tiffany's blog:
That quote combined with reading BLM Stephanie's blog, got me thinking of my Angel right now.
I've not forgotten my Angel, but I just can't spend huge amounts of time anymore grieving the loss of him/her. It takes energy I just am in short supply of right now. Stephanie really does a good job explaining this in her most recent blog post - linked above.
However, this doesn't mean that I've forgotten my Angel - as the Barbara Kingsolver quote highlights.
I wish I had more time to do things in memory of our Angel - like those forget-me-not plantable paper angels that I had this big glorious plan to send to you all. Sadly, I just can't. I'm busy being a mom to Beth and preparing for Hannah. I'm a wife, a friend, a teacher...
And, that's okay. I know where my Angel is - safe in the arms of Jesus. I'll see him/her again one day. And I will always remember him/her. There will be times to remember my Angel. Specific ones like October 15th pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. And there will be just times, when I'll pause and remember him/her.
This is one of those.
That quote combined with reading BLM Stephanie's blog, got me thinking of my Angel right now.
I've not forgotten my Angel, but I just can't spend huge amounts of time anymore grieving the loss of him/her. It takes energy I just am in short supply of right now. Stephanie really does a good job explaining this in her most recent blog post - linked above.
However, this doesn't mean that I've forgotten my Angel - as the Barbara Kingsolver quote highlights.
I wish I had more time to do things in memory of our Angel - like those forget-me-not plantable paper angels that I had this big glorious plan to send to you all. Sadly, I just can't. I'm busy being a mom to Beth and preparing for Hannah. I'm a wife, a friend, a teacher...
And, that's okay. I know where my Angel is - safe in the arms of Jesus. I'll see him/her again one day. And I will always remember him/her. There will be times to remember my Angel. Specific ones like October 15th pregnancy and infant loss awareness day. And there will be just times, when I'll pause and remember him/her.
This is one of those.
work work work
My spring break officially ends tonight. :-( Back to work. Back to "reality". (((sigh)))
However, on the upside, my spring break has been VERY productive. I managed to clean and organize Hannah's room. I got Beth's old baby clothes and went through those, washing and putting away what I could reuse given that the seasons are off on my girls - Beth was a January baby and Hannah will be a July baby. We also got the basement cleaned up and all items we didn't want to keep went into the garage in a pile for a yard sale - probably in June. Cleaned up Beth's old swing and bouncer for Hannah. The list could go on and on with little things like that I got done. I'm very proud of myself!
Going back to work tomorrow wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to face the week alone. Michael is out of town again in California. He's actually on a plane heading out there now as I type this :-( I miss him, but when he's gone I also miss him taking care of all the animals and driving Beth to school in the mornings. Oh, well. I'll survive. Gotta do what you gotta do...
I thought I'd go ahead and share some pics I put on facebook today. My mom, who hasn't seen me since Christmas, asked me to post a pic of myself so she could see "how big" I've gotten. ((sigh)) Well, needless to say because you all know I haven't done it before, I don't like to take the belly shots of me getting bigger. I didn't do it with Beth and don't feel compelled to do it with Hannah. I really don't like seeing myself in pictures, especially in pictures where I'm ... um... big. And yes, I know I'm big because I'm prego with a huge blessing, but... um... I'm still big. And I don't like those pics. Pics like that inspired me to join weight watchers a years ago. It was hard work, but I managed to lose over 50 pounds!
Anyway, I took the pic. For mom. And I took a pic of the crib - bedding has been ordered. Thought I'd share them. Enjoy - you won't be seeing too many more pics like this! ;-)
However, on the upside, my spring break has been VERY productive. I managed to clean and organize Hannah's room. I got Beth's old baby clothes and went through those, washing and putting away what I could reuse given that the seasons are off on my girls - Beth was a January baby and Hannah will be a July baby. We also got the basement cleaned up and all items we didn't want to keep went into the garage in a pile for a yard sale - probably in June. Cleaned up Beth's old swing and bouncer for Hannah. The list could go on and on with little things like that I got done. I'm very proud of myself!
Going back to work tomorrow wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to face the week alone. Michael is out of town again in California. He's actually on a plane heading out there now as I type this :-( I miss him, but when he's gone I also miss him taking care of all the animals and driving Beth to school in the mornings. Oh, well. I'll survive. Gotta do what you gotta do...
I thought I'd go ahead and share some pics I put on facebook today. My mom, who hasn't seen me since Christmas, asked me to post a pic of myself so she could see "how big" I've gotten. ((sigh)) Well, needless to say because you all know I haven't done it before, I don't like to take the belly shots of me getting bigger. I didn't do it with Beth and don't feel compelled to do it with Hannah. I really don't like seeing myself in pictures, especially in pictures where I'm ... um... big. And yes, I know I'm big because I'm prego with a huge blessing, but... um... I'm still big. And I don't like those pics. Pics like that inspired me to join weight watchers a years ago. It was hard work, but I managed to lose over 50 pounds!
Anyway, I took the pic. For mom. And I took a pic of the crib - bedding has been ordered. Thought I'd share them. Enjoy - you won't be seeing too many more pics like this! ;-)
 |
| 24 weeks prego |
songs for my girls
When I was pregnant with Beth, there was a song by Mark Harris that I immediately adopted as Beth's song. What do I mean by that, you ask? Well, it's a song I heard while pregnant with her that became a song I'd pray especially for her - a kind of "mission statement" song for that child.
Anyway, I thought I would share Beth's song with you and the one I just heard this morning that I'm adopting as Hannah's song. Both make me cry like a baby! Here we go...
Beth's song is by Mark Harris. It's called "Find Your Wings." It came out the year I found out I was pregnant with her - 2007. Here's the chorus and then the song:
Now this next song that I'm calling Hannah's song just came out. It's by Mark Shultz and is called "What it means to be loved." It is sure to become a fast favorite in the BLM world. (BLM = Baby Loss Momma) It talks about a baby, only five months old in the womb, who is not expected to live a year, at most, after birth. The doctor asks what the mom wants to do at this point in her pregnancy; she decides to keep the pregnancy. See chorus below.
Now, nothing has been even hinted at being wrong with my little Hannah Faith, but after that fateful day in August when we couldn't find Angel's heartbeat, I fear each time that I walk into the doctor's office the doctor will tell me something is wrong. The scene runs through my head. I can't help it! However, I try to picture myself reacting to such news the way this couple does in this new song by Mark Shultz. And the chorus is what I want for my Hannah. I want her to know love (Jesus) - I want her to feel loved always! I wanna show her what it means to be loved...
Chorus:
I wanna give her the world
I wanna hold her hand
I wanna be her mom for as long as I can
and I wanna live every moment until that day comes
I wanna show her what it means to be loved
Hannah's song...
Anyway, I thought I would share Beth's song with you and the one I just heard this morning that I'm adopting as Hannah's song. Both make me cry like a baby! Here we go...
Beth's song is by Mark Harris. It's called "Find Your Wings." It came out the year I found out I was pregnant with her - 2007. Here's the chorus and then the song:
Now this next song that I'm calling Hannah's song just came out. It's by Mark Shultz and is called "What it means to be loved." It is sure to become a fast favorite in the BLM world. (BLM = Baby Loss Momma) It talks about a baby, only five months old in the womb, who is not expected to live a year, at most, after birth. The doctor asks what the mom wants to do at this point in her pregnancy; she decides to keep the pregnancy. See chorus below.
Now, nothing has been even hinted at being wrong with my little Hannah Faith, but after that fateful day in August when we couldn't find Angel's heartbeat, I fear each time that I walk into the doctor's office the doctor will tell me something is wrong. The scene runs through my head. I can't help it! However, I try to picture myself reacting to such news the way this couple does in this new song by Mark Shultz. And the chorus is what I want for my Hannah. I want her to know love (Jesus) - I want her to feel loved always! I wanna show her what it means to be loved...
Chorus:
I wanna give her the world
I wanna hold her hand
I wanna be her mom for as long as I can
and I wanna live every moment until that day comes
I wanna show her what it means to be loved
Hannah's song...
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