butterflies

And I'm not talking about the cute ones that fly through the air! I'm talking about the ones in my stomach!!

Well, those are cute too - at least in the above pic they are ;-)

I'm giddy about tomorrow.  Okay, get ready for some stream of consciousness writing, ya'll...

I'm excited to work - doing what I love. I'm excited to see my co-workers, most of which are friends.  I'm excited to see my  new students and anxiously wondering what they'll think of me... and wondering if they'll want the long term sub back - because I heard she was great! I'm fretting over the fact that it looks as if Beth is catching a cold - great timing!  However, I'm loving that Michael took all next week off of work to stay home with Hannah so I don't have to worry about her in daycare until next week.  Yet, I'm wondering how that will work out!?  Daddy as mom?! hehe  He'll probably end up having to balance Hannah and taking Beth to the doctor at some point - unless she gets better.  I'm wondering how he'll do balancing all that... not as good as me, that's for sure ;-)

BREATH... and... Sigh....

It was good to get all that out.  Now you see?!  Why I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach!? ;-)

The question does arise, "Am I going to be able to make "this" all work!?"

And someone said today at church, "Joy comes when you focus on Jesus."

And that someone - sorry I can't remember who said that exactly - that someone is right!  I'm going to try to remember that!

Pep talk:
One thing at a time... One thing at a time... focus on Jesus and lean on Him who  has been showing you how to balance your life, Jamie Lynn.

Yes, my middle name is Lynn :-)

I stumbled across this today in a devotional; I thought I'd share it with you:

Jesus is the life of the party - literally.  He steps into our world and changes futility into fulfillment, blandness into flavor, obligation into celebration, law into life.  And, we often never see it happen!  We don't know how He does it, just that He does.  We see the problem, we invite Him to be the solution, we hear Him give the command to prepare for a miracle, and we do so. He turns the water into wine without our understanding either how or exactly when, but He will.  The dancing (living life) can continue, the guests can keep laughing, and we can relax and enjoy the celebration!

Invite Jesus to be the solution to your problems today!  Then sit back and enjoy watching and waiting for the miracle :-)

God Bless!
((hugz))

the beginning of the end

This is the last week of my maternity leave.  It's back to work next Monday.

When I think about this, I have a variety of feelings... I'm excited... nervous... anxious...

I've been blessed with this time off.  Hannah is now 10 weeks old.  That's two and a half months old.

It doesn't seem like two months have passed.

Anyway, it's been a good two months!  I've gotten to spend a lot of time with my in-laws.  They've got to hug on this last grand baby a whole lot more than with Beth. I know they've enjoyed this time too!

I've had a chance to let my body recover from a trying pregnancy and second c-section, and I've lost over 10 pounds since I started Weight Watchers!

I know going back to work will get me moving more and watching what I eat even more than I have lately, so I'm sure it will kick start the weight loss. That's a plus!

But a lot of stress awaits me back at work.  A lot of unrealistic expectations and drama.  I'm really going to strive to not be a part of ANY of that!  I'll do what I can as much as I can - as if working for the Lord - and then leave work at work.  To tend to my other "job" and more important calling as wife and mother.  And my other job as friend and Christian. 

Don't get my wrong, my mission field - my classroom, this high school I'm called to - is very important.  However, although it ranks high in my life of important responsibilities, it is not the most important thing in my life.

As my current bible study urged me to explore while seeking balance in my life - all things I do need to be done for the glory of the Lord, or else, why do them?! 

So... I teach... I coach... but before I do this I worship my God, I love my husband, and I nurture my kids.  I'm a friend, and I am a Christian with responsibilities to her church.  And I think I have struck a balance with all these things.

I'm a work in progress. 

the quest for balance in my life

So, this online bible study that I'm leading through Anchored by Hope - called First Place 4 Health: Balanced Living - challenged me to take inventory of the activities and relationships that I am involved in and ask God this question: "How does each activity and relationship fit into Your plan for me, Lord?"  Then, based on His promptings, I had to draw a line through things that needed to be eliminated or changed somehow.

Well, I've made some decisions based on this exercise:

1. I decided to stop going to church on Wednesday nights, for now.  Why, you ask?  My reply... Well, why not?  We would go for Beth to sing in Joyful Noiz, and then she would go to Awanas while I went on to bible study.

Now, these are all great things, but even great things can be detrimental to your health if done in excess, and I just - at this time - feel like our time would be better spent at home.  By the end of the day, Beth is too hyper to be anything but a problem for her choir teacher, and she doesn't take the whole Cubbies thing seriously (at a unfocused four, she isn't really caring about earning patches for her vest or memorizing a bible verse to get something checked off in a book).  And since I'm already involved in bible study online, I don't need to be there on Wednesday nights either.

So, I've devised what we are calling Praise Picnics.  Basically, I found these preschool devotions online.  What we do after I pick her up is set up a picnic using milk and cookies in her bedroom, and we pray, eat, talk about the day, review the quick devotional, and then - so far - play Barbies - where mom reiterates the lesson of the bible story, but Beth doesn't quite catch on to that yet! hehe

Anyway, this way, I get to spend more one on one time with Beth and Hannah (she's at the picnic too, usually sleeping in her bouncer).  I really feel like we need this more in our lives than the chaos of trying to get to church on Wed. night after a long day at work, and thus, I've created a better balance for myself and my children!

2. Well, that first change was a pretty big one.  These next choices/changes are small but meaningful... I moved the online bible study time from 9:30pm-10:30pm on Monday nights to 9pm - 10pm.  Now, you may ask, why is this change meaningful?  Well, it gives me 30 more minutes to get to bed early - and I start back to work in two weeks, so this is VERY important!

3. I'm cutting back on time spent on the computer!  As one of my friends put it, "I don't want my kids to remember me from behind a computer screen!"  So toward this end, I've resolved three things. (A). Buy the Weight Watcher at home kit so I'm not on the computer all the time logging my food/points used.  (B). I've stopped my babycenter message board addiction ;-)  (C). I'm only going to blog and check blogs on Sunday.

Yes, you read it right.  One blog post a week.  Will you forgive me? Will you still keep reading?  I'll read yours!!! I promise!!!! 

Anyway, they'll probably be long posts - reflective posts - updates on my life posts, but they'll be "just what I need at the moment" and "get it all out" posts.  A way to work through what I've learned from the Lord this week - so I won't forget it.  You know, forget-me-not. ;-)

I need to do these things to set the priorities in my life straight!  And I can say, I've already felt a better balance!  The devotional time with my daughters went GREAT!  The change of the bible study time was a better balance for ALL involved! AND now that I've cut back on computer time, I've had moments where I've been, like, "What should I do now?"  It's weird!  I've had some withdrawal moments.  Where I want to go check facebook even though I just checked it 30 mins ago!  I want to go to some website and do something... and I have to tell myself, NO!  Whatever do I need to do that for?! LOL

I'm happy, ya'll!  I'm less stressed and overwhelmed - which is a miracle given mice have infiltrated my house this week and the exterminator told me that it's going to cost $1000 to ensure this never happens again. But, you know what? I'm okay!  We're gonna get this taken care of. Life could be worse...

I could be spending this day mourning a lost loved one like so many that had a friend or relative who died in those towers on Sept. 11th. :-(  Thankfully, I am not!

...  I was at K-mart that day.  Working the jewelry counter - my job before I became a teacher.  I could see on the TVs in home electronics what was going on.  I called Michael at work.  He was watching while working, stocking shelves, at Costco.  This was all pre-kids.  We just couldn't believe what we saw unfolding...

And today, we remember those lost in that horrific attack.  And I thank God I'm here and able to make better choices for me, my Savior, my family... it's truly a gift!

Beth

You are highly intelligent - it's amazing how smart you are, often too much for your own good!

You are a sponge - soaking up everything that goes on around you. Even when it looks as if you aren't paying attention!

You are busy - eager to take in and experience all life has to offer.  Because of this, your ability to focus on something of little to no interest is short.

You follow directions very well - when it suits you ;-)  You receive and express the language you hear very well!

Your potential - with age/maturity - is limitless!

You - God has amazing plans for you!  Follow Him, and your life will be full of His joy!!!

You - I LOVE YOU!!!

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Speech Pathology

Beth had a speech screening at her preschool, and it came back that she needed further evaluation of her receptive and expressive language skills.

And, I began to freak out, to worry, to blame myself. 

It's probably nothing.  In fact, a friend of mine who happens to be a speech pathologist will be doing a free screening of her tomorrow just to put my mind at ease.  She thinks it's probably nothing.

The real problem is that I do this - blame myself if anything is the slight bit wrong with my kids. 

I blame myself, and then, I worry.

Why can't I just trust Jesus!?!?!

He is the one that fearfully and wonderfully made them!  Why do I spend hours and hours worrying about things I have no control over?!

If anyone needs an evaluation, I think I need an evaluation of my faith skills ;-)

I need to stop giving into fear!  F.E.A.R. is...

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

I like that ;-)

She'll be fine!  This - if there is a this - will not ruin her life!

Anyway, I'm feeling better knowing that Julia is going to screen Beth tomorrow.  I feel like, yet again, God has got this problem already fixed.  He's got this.

He's got the whole world in His hands.... and them too!