Don't be an ALS Ice Bucket Challenge hater!

I accepted the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge this past Monday night.

As I said in the video, I heartily accepted this challenge.  Why?   For those suffering with ALS. For those like Anthony Carbaja. Watch his four minute video before reading any further. Don't cheat. You have to watch it to really understand and appreciate what I'm about to say.  Watch it:

Now, how do you NOT accept the challenge after watching that?  Did you hear what he said?

"I am so so grateful.  You have no idea how every single challenge makes me feel.  Lifts my spirits. Lifts every single ALS patient's spirits." - Anthony Carbaja 

Translation: When you complete the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and share it with family and friends, you lift the spirits of those suffering from this horrific disease.

Conversely, I imagine that every time a person posts an article deriding the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, it does quite the opposite. It crushes every single ALS patient's spirits.  Would you rather be a part of that?

Sadly, the spirit of an ALS suffer is kept low as there is much that adds insult to the injury of an ALS diagnosis.  Anthony points out one such insult in his moving video.  It comes from the pharmaceutical companies. Because making drugs for ALS suffers wouldn't be a profitable venture, they do not invest time or money into ALS research.  Through their inaction, these companies are saying that ALS suffers aren't worth saving.

They aren't worth it!?  How can another human being NOT have worth?

Via the Ice Bucket Challenge I say to Anthony and all ALS suffers, "You are worth it!  You are worth the water, the time, the efforts, and the money spent in bringing awareness to your suffering and in bringing hope to your despair. You are worth it!"

If you don't want to complete the challenge, that's okay.  If you would rather not help bring awareness to this devastating disease, if you would rather not give an ALS suffer a glimmer of hope in his or her darkness, that is your choice.  But I would respectfully ask that you not share any articles or blog posts or memes that would steal away their hope during this time of recognition.

For those of you willing to complete the challenge, thank you!  Whether you give money to ALS or not, you are still contributing a great deal!  As Anthony implied, this is a lonely disease: "No one wants to talk about it." Those that suffer with ALS suffer alone.  Thank you for helping them feel less like an outcast, rejected and forsaken.  Thank you for helping them feel loved.

Today's forget-me-not: Don't be a hater! #love

1st Corinthians 12:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

sacrifical love

I have been in a Beth Moore bible study on Wednesday nights that has rocked my world.  It's called Loving Well, and what I have learned during the course of this study has really challenged me. I want to share with you the truths the Lord revealed to me.

First, Jesus died for me and saved me knowing that there would be many times afterward I would fail to follow His perfect will.

Wow. Wait a minute. Read that again, slowly. Go on...

That statement above, that is perfect love. 

Love (verb) - To know that someone will disappoint you often but then sacrifice for them anyway.

It's hard to accept such love.  It's difficult to wrap our minds around something given so unconditionally.

Romans 8:38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Christian, it doesn't matter what you or anyone else does, Jesus loves you, and He always will.

Now, another challenging truth revealed to me during this study.  Have you heard something like this before?  With great privilege comes great responsibility.  Well, I believe there is some spiritual truth to this...

1 John 4:9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

Because we, Christian, have been so well loved with an amazing unconditional and freely given love, we ought to love others in that same manner.  In this way, the non-believer will see God.  He or she will see Him through us and, hopefully, come to know Him.

And as easy as that might sound, in application, it is HARD!

Luke 6:27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸ bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹ If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. ³⁰ Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. ³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you.

Christian - Love is sacrificial, and when done sacrificially, it speaks volumes about our Jesus.  It creates an aroma that is pleasing and attractive to the lost.

2 Corinthians 2:14 But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. ¹⁵ For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. ¹⁶ To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life.

So, Love. Love sacrificially.  Love unconditionally. Love as Christ loved us.

Love (verb) - To know that someone will disappoint you often but then sacrifice for them anyway.

To love in this manner can be challenging...

Offer a helping hand to the coworker that wronged you and might - most likely - wrong you again. 

Take a meal to the woman who decided to have an abortion and needs a friend to lean on.

Bake a cake for the gay couple if they ask you, or let the lesbian couple buy a dress from your establishment.

Luke 6:32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. ³³ And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. ³⁴ And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. ³⁵ But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. ³⁶ Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I am beyond appreciative that God loves me in a sacrificial and merciful manner.  I praise Him for loving in a sacrificial and merciful manner.  And as a result, I MUST love in a sacrificial and merciful manner.

And don't fret that your acts of love may translate into the acceptance of sins. That didn't stop Jesus from loving the adulterous woman who was about to be stoned.  And praise God, that didn't stop Jesus from dying for me and you on the cross.

Just love.  The results are amazing. 

Today's forget-me-not: Ephesians 5:1-2 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Depression. And God.

By now, you have heard. Robin Williams, beloved actor, committed suicide.

Because Robin Williams struggled with depression, internet discussions on the topic abound.  

However, I think there is an element to the current conversation that is at times missing or when present is grossly misinterpreted, and it grieves me. Keep reading, and I'll explain.  There are some things we should cover first.

What is depression?  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that depression as an illness is an affective disorder - the CDC does not classify depression as a disease.

Everyday HEALTH published an article entitled "9 Depression Types to Know."  The nine depression types are Major Depression, Dysthymia, Postpartum Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Atypical Depression, Psychotic Depression,  Bipolar Disorder, Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, and Situational Depression.

When you read about these forms of depression, you learn that one type of depression can be a stepping stone to another.  You also learn that some forms of depression are a constant reality in sufferers' everyday lives - and will continue as such. Still with other forms of depression, there are recurring bouts which end with seasons of normalcy.  And there are some forms of depression that can be overcome.

When reading further on the subject of depression, you learn that it can be treated in a variety of ways via different drug therapies or talk therapy or nutrition therapies or a combination of these. One type of depression can even be treated with what is known as light therapy or artificial light treatment. However, the proper course of treatment cannot be chosen until it has been decided by a doctor which type of depression the patient suffers from.

Obviously, the topic of depression is very complex.  We need to remember this before making sweeping statements about this diverse disorder.   

There are different types of depression suffered by different people who each then must have a different treatment plan.  And as already mentioned, there are a wide range of options for treatment of depression.

And yet - here is what grieves me about this subject - there is one resource for treating depression that is often not considered or is belittled - turning to God for help.

If you are currently suffering from depression, please, let me say this to you:  In your darkest moments, God is there - close to you. He wants to help too. Call out to Him. Reach for Him.

Sadly, there are those who will read this post and sneer at what I just wrote.

Some will read my advice and instantly think I am implying that those who believe in God never succumb to depression.  But nothing could be further from the truth!  The above plea is for the non-believer AND believer.  Depression is no respecter of persons.

Some others will read my advice and think I am implying that if you just pray enough, your depression will be cured.  To that I say, friend, go back and read my statement again.  I said that God can HELP.  I never said there was a spiritual recipe for curing depression. And I would never suggest that a sufferer of depression rely alone on prayer to see them through. God has enabled physicians and counselors and equipped them with the proper medicines (if necessary) and therapies to help suffers of depression. Seek them out! To neglect to do so would be to ignore assistance God has already put in place to help you on your dark journey.

And still there are others who will read my advice and laugh at my supposed ignorance.  They believe counseling someone who is battling depression to ask God for help in fighting the battle is futile.  They say depression can't be changed by God.  But if you believe there is a God, you must believe He is all powerful and has no limitations because to be otherwise means He would cease to be God.  So I say, God is God. God can do anything!  To say God CAN'T do something is illogical.

Hear me! I am saying God CAN help you! HE is the ultimate light in any darkness.  Don't turn away from Him. Consider Him - the Great Physician - your creator - in your treatment plan.

After having said all this, I know we are left with a stark reality.  With God or without God, there is nothing easy about battling depression.

In high school, my sophomore year, I struggled with depression. My treatment primarily came in the form of talk therapy with my guidance counselor.  It was effective.  But it wasn't until I started talking regularly with Jesus after giving my life to Him the summer before my senior year of high school, that I felt completely healed of my depression.

Does this mean that I will never again have to deal with depression in my life?  Absolutely not.  As stated in the Everyday HEALTH article linked above, when it comes to major depression,  "In some instances, a person might only experience one episode of major depression, but the condition tends to recur throughout a person's life."

If I am unfortunate and experience depression again, I will seek help and avail myself of all available treatments - including Jesus.  Please consider doing the same.

Today's forget-me-not: If you are suffering from depression, seek help! Tell a friend or a family member and your doctor. Seek a professional counselor. And don't forget Jesus. He wants to help too!

James 4:8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.

my two cents to runners and race managers

Last Saturday, I ran a 5K in support of the cross country program at the high school where I teach.
 

@ The Chiefs 5K

I ran this last year, but they, thankfully, changed the venue. Previously, it was at a park with a gravel path in a primarily wooded area. You had to loop three times to make the course 5K - I hate looping - and by the end of it, I had all kinds of bug bites on my legs.

So needless to say, I was super excited to find out that this year the race was going to be at the new outlet mall in our area. I was eager to run this race, and I did okay. Certainly, it was not my best time, but you can't expect much better when you haven't been running regularly and have been eating poorly the past couple #summer months.

It was chip timed, and here are the results that were sent to me via e-mail: Your 5K time was 33:30. Your pace was 10:47/M. You were number 147 overall. You were number 4 of 10 in your age group 36-40.

Those results look better than I did by the end of this race...

Me leaning on a parking sign.
That was appropriate since my butt was PARKED there for awhile trying to catch my breath.

Afterwards, as I reflected on this race, I realized that after running over twenty races, I've learned a few things about running and 5Ks that I'd like to pass along. There's wisdom here folks - running and race coordinating wisdom. Take it to the bank!

Proverbs 28:26 Those who trust in themselves are fools, but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.

So, here it is! My Two Cents To Runners and Race Managers

1. Runner - Go pee before the race starts. Yes, I know you went pee before you left the house this morning. And yes, I know you don't feel like you need to pee right now. But mark this down, if you don't pee before you start a race, you WILL have to pee at some point during your run. And that is #nofun.

2. Race Manager - Do NOT advertise that your course is mostly flat if it is NOT mostly flat. If it contains some rolling hills for about half the course but then is mostly downhill afterwards THEN SAY THAT! A runner has to get herself mentally ready for the challenges that lie ahead, so your false advertisement is frustrating to realize in the midst of running a 5K. Besides, when it comes to races and signing up for races, if you lie to me, I will not come back next year! DON'T LIE!

3. Runner - If you want a good 5K pace and overall time, train for it! If you don't train for speed, you will be disappointed, and no one wants to leave a 5K disappointed in her performance! Along these same lines, if you eat garbage leading up to your run, your run will be garbage. Do yourself a favor. Don't sabotage yourself!

4. Race Manager - Never. NEVER run out of t-shirts. This is a huge #nono. Especially if you advertise that you are going to have awesome technical t-shirts instead of the ratty cotton ones. PLEASE! Do not run out of said awesome t-shirts! This makes me really REALLY not want to invest in your race again next year - or ever. Yes, I ran the race to support your cause, but typically, I run for two other very important reasons: to be able eat more without guilt AND to get another racing t-shirt. When you run out of shirts, you seriously injure one of my racing passions - collecting 5K shirts.

Well, those are just a few words of wisdom to myself, to fellow runners, and to race managers that I gleaned from this particular 5K experience and that I have gleaned from my racing "career" as a whole. Take it or leave it; the choice is yours.

Today's forget-me-not: "Before anything else, preparation is the key to success."
  - Alexander Graham Bell

for Angel, for Taylor, for all babies lost too soon

Remembering Angel on the day of her passing.
And remembering my dear friend Mary's little Taylor who passed this day as well.

Today's forget-me-not: Babies lost too soon.

What can you do when you learn your friend has had a miscarriage?

It has happened again.  Another dear friend of mine has suffered a miscarriage.

I hate it.

I know the darkness that comes with pregnancy loss. I know the loneliness.  I know the pain - physical and emotional - that overwhelms.

And I just want to make it all go away for her.  But I can't.  And that is frustrating.

So, is there anything someone can do for a friend who has suffered a miscarriage?

To answer this question, I thought back to the days right after I lost our Angel.  I thought back to what others had done that helped me as I began to work through my loss.  Here is a list of things you should consider doing for your friend as she grieves.

1. Take a meal.  The last thing a grieving parent should have to think about during this time is what to make for dinner.  Mom and dad (and their children if they have any previous to this loss) need to eat - even if they don't want to. Help them out. Take that chore off their to-do-list and - in a kindness that will speak love to their hearts - take them a meal.
2. Be there to listen.  I have found that grieving mothers want to tell their stories.  It helps them to process what happened. All you have to do is make yourself available.  Sit with your friend. Listen. If need be, cry with her and give her a hug.  Just being there to listen can help so much!
3. Say very little.  For some women, remarks meant to console like "Perhaps this (the miscarriage) was for the best" or "I'm sure you'll be able to have other children" or "This happens to a lot of women" may be comforting, but to other women, these statements seem to minimize their losses.  Instead, you can never go wrong with simply expressing your sadness at her loss and/or giving her a hug. Again, just be there for her.
4. Consider a small gesture.  Send her and the father - he lost a baby too - a card, or flowers, or some other small token of remembrance.  Gestures such as these acknowledge your friend's pain and acknowledge the life of her child - two things that are often overlooked after one experiences a miscarriage. Never be afraid to remember your friend's baby.  Be certain, she will never forget that little one - no matter how long he or she was in her womb.  To acknowledge the baby is to acknowledge her and what she went through. It makes the experience less lonely and honors the little life that passed too soon from this earth.
5. If she already has children, take them for a couple hours, for a whole day, or for a sleepover.  Your friend and her spouse need time to grieve. It is nearly impossible to do this with children around who demand your constant attention.  If it is at all possible for you to do this, it would be greatly appreciated!

Above all, remember that your friend just lost a child. Yes, the baby was only a few weeks or months old, but in that time, this new mother made plans for her baby's future: perhaps she narrowed down a list of potential names, perhaps she cleaned a room in anticipation of the arrival of this new family member, or perhaps she bought a few new baby items. 

One thing is for certain.  For her, this new mother loved loves her child, and now, that baby is gone.

She will grieve. She will cry.  And eventually, although it will leave a scar, she will heal.

Will you help her?

Today's forget-me-not: The grieving mothers of miscarriage.  See them. Support them.

Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.