Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cheaters and liars. Please.

I've had a lot to deal with at work lately.  For those of you reading this who don't know me very well, I teach high school English.

This year, I have had - much more than usual - students cheating on quizzes and tests, plagiarizing papers, and lying to buy extra time on assignments.  And this morning, I suspect that a student trespassed in my room to steal a copy of a quiz.

I'm disheartened, and I think I know what a part of the problem may be...

Today's youth do not take the time to stop and think before they act.  They don't consider the consequences of their behavior. And some, they don't seem to care what anyone thinks about them.

Luke 2:52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

It's important that, to a certain degree, we care about the opinion of others in relation to ourselves.

How people think of us can influence how we are treated.

How people think of us can influence how they think of and behave toward our family members.

How people think of us can influence the amount of opportunities afforded us in life.

Fact: Humans are social beings.  We were made for relationships (the most important being with our Savior, Jesus Christ).  It's not healthy, in all senses of that word, to deliberately damage or sabotage relationships.

Then why do most teenagers - and some adults - behave this way?

It was through an activity I did with my sophomores where I believe I may have found the answer to that question...

To begin a unit on ethics, I had my students develop a personal code of ethics.  One of the steps in the process forced them to consider this question: If you were to die today, what would you want others to say about you?

I was surprised to find that they had difficulty answering this question.

The question implied they should be living as if today might be their last.  It also implied they could leave a lasting impact on those around them.  These are things teenagers - and some adults - don't take the time to consider.

And that's the problem.  That is why most teenagers - and some adults - behave in ways that are self-destructive: They live as if they are infinite - free to live forever without consequences.

However, here's a newsflash to those living this way. You are finite.  Your short life on this earth will make an impact - whether you care for it to or not.

So answer the question: If you were to die today, what would you want others to say about you? And once you have your answer, make a plan to live in such a way that this is exactly what others will say when you pass on.  This plan is your personal code of ethics.

Parents.  Teach your children about ethics. Help them develop a personal code of ethics to live by: moral principles, rules of conduct, and values.  Teach them the importance of this before they become lost in themselves.

Have this conversation with them sooner rather than later. Their teachers will thank you for it!

Today's forget-me-not:  My personal code of ethics:

My Personal Code of Ethics

I value a loving approach to life and to everyone, and I most appreciate 

those who reciprocate this love.

Matthew 22:37-39 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”  This is the first and greatest commandment.   

  And the second is like it: 

 “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

To fulfill my ethical value statement, I will spend as much time as possible in bible study – examining Jesus’ life.  He was/is the ultimate example of my value statement.  Furthermore, I will make it my aim to always practice what He preached – love.  To do this effectively, I will give others “the benefit of the doubt” in moments of disagreement.  I will give grace and forgiveness when I have been wronged.  I will overlook faults and remember I have my own to count.  Ultimately, I will sacrifice my time to show that I am sincere in all I do and say.  

it's a broken and beautiful life

I am broken.

Aren't we all, to some extent, broken?  How can anything really be whole in this fallen world?

It's exhausting - living broken.  Attempting to function properly when you are fractured. It's like walking on a sprained ankle - not advisable, for obvious reasons.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we hobble through each day in pain as if nothing is wrong? As if we are perfect and all is well with the world?

Are we afraid of looking weak? Are we fearful of judgement? Of criticism?

"The world...view[s] our broken stories and tell us it's better to hide them.  To forget the shame we carry, put on a smile, and disappear under the work we do, the people we please, and the frenetic activity of keeping busy." - Bonnie Gray in Finding Spiritual Whitespace

Well, I'm done with that.  Living that way is tiring - physically and spiritually - and I want more out of this life.  Jesus wants me to have life abundantly, and I'm eager to let the Great Physician guide me to a better place.

I'm reading an insightful book right now by author Bonnie Gray called Finding Spiritual Whitespace.

She says, "Spiritual whitespace brings us to a different peace where we are real."

The reality is this: life is hard.  It's brutal.  But it can also be beautiful.

However, the only way to experience the beauty is to first acknowledge the ugly... the damaged... the imperfect... in our lives.

"Jesus understands the wounds where joy was demolished. Where something beautiful fades into the sidelines of our stories. Where we are only left with memories of what could have been." - Bonnie Gray

We need to acknowledge our brokenness, not hide from it.  We need to make room for the Healer to come in and do His work. We must stop, rest, and let Him make us new.  We should do this often because daily we fail and we are hurt. We need time to recover.

No ship can be buffeted by the waves forever. It will capsize. Our savior cries out, "Peace! Be still!"  And so we must. We should.

Rest. We need to make time for rest.

Matthew 11:28 Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

I am taking steps toward rest.  How do you make time for it?  Please, share your wisdom on this topic!

Today's forget-me-not: Rest. It's just what the Doctor ordered.

My Marley and Me

It was June of 2004. I remember turning into the Super Walmart parking lot and saying, "Hey, look. There's someone trying to get rid of a puppy."

My husband (Michael) and I had recently been conversing about the possibility of getting a dog. That's why the couple with the sign "Free Puppy" caught my eye.

The next thing I remember, Michael said to me, "Stop the car."  And as I parked our vehicle, I recall thinking, he just wants to get a closer look at the dog. He just wants to see her.  So, he got out, and I waited.  And after some time passed (4 or 5 minutes), he made his way back towards me... with the dog in his hands.

I thought, he's going to ask me if we should take this dog, and he knows the answer to that question. No way! We had already discussed this.  We don't have the time or money to spend on a dog right now.  Of course we can't take this dog!

But my husband didn't ask me if we should take the dog.  Quite the opposite occurred. As he got in the car with this tan ball of fuz, I asked, "Are we taking this dog?" And he said, "Yes."

June 2004

At some point, soon thereafter, I suggested we name the dog Lucky - since she was dang lucky to have captured my husband's heart.  If it had been up to me that day, I would have opted to give the dog back to its owners.  But as soon as I saw how Michael looked at that dog, I knew that wasn't a possibility. That puppy had found its home, and it was in my husband's heart!

A man and his new dog.

She was so darn cute!  And although we named her Lucky, I never referred to her by that name.  She was always Puppy to me.  And as she grew, she found a special place in my heart.

She loved Frisbees, and she was GREAT at catching them!

Puppy was our baby until our first baby, Beth, came along. 

Puppy handled Beth's toddler years with more patience than I did!

That puppy was always there with us - in our midst.  In most pictures and nearly every video I have of Beth growing up, Puppy is right there - living life with us.

Having fun in the snow January of this year.

I guess I took that for granted.  I knew one day she'd be gone.  But sadly, there were too many times, most recently, when I wished her final days were sooner rather than later: Like after each time she peed on the carpet.  Or after each time we would have to pay the huge fees to have her boarded. Or after the time she tore up the carpet in our bedroom because she accidentally closed the door on herself after we had left for the day.

At times like those, I focused too much on the negativity of the situations instead of honing in on the joy she brought to our lives.

And for that, I am truly sorry.

Date of Birth (estimated): April 2004 - Date of Death: October 2014

We miss you Puppy.

Thanks for the memories, faithful friend!

Today's forget-me-not: Our Puppy